Tag Archives: relationship

The Difference Between Religion and Relationship


My heart is so very heavy this morning.

Please bear with me as I mull over the difference between Religion and Relationship…

Religion –

Religion blocks the Holy Spirit’s access to our pain.

Religion disables our ability to be honest about our pain.

Religion prevents us from experiencing our pain as a navigation through our grief.

Religion prevents us from truly releasing and experiencing the fullness of forgiveness.

Religion prevents us from owning and fully releasing our anger.

Religion shackles us in emotional denial.

Religion tells us that our feelings are not accepted as they really are.

Religion uses condemnation and judgment to hold us in place.

Religion prevents us from being freed from our anger and bitterness.

Religion is hard, callous, and cold.

Religion demands that we “pretty ourselves up – first” then…

Religion subtly convinces us that we can get over it by doing more, being better, quoting more, studying more, and performing better.

Relationship –

Relationship provides a safe place where we are accepted, valued, and loved no matter how deep our pain or how vast our anger.

Relationship assures us that our feelings are okay and welcomes to freely give voice to them without minimizing, trivializing, or denying.

Relationship never demands that we be anything other than what we presently are.

Relationship invites us to be open, transparent, and honest.

Relationship never condemns or judges.

Relationship longs to care, extend comfort, and hold us as we grieve.

Relationship desires to give us what we are utterly unable to give ourselves.

Relationship longs to heal our pain and hurts.

Relationship is a place of healing, deliverance, and hope.

Relationship assures us that all we need is provided simply because we are loved.



Moving In Intimate Communion


Moving In Intimate Communion

As I slowly hobble toward You –
Toward all that You are –
Grant me straightened paths.

For I am weak and weary.
My feet are crooked and pained.
My joints are maimed and injured.

I am bowed low and bent over
From the sheer weight
Of my burden and misery.

But You have enveloped me
In Your Grace, Mercy and Love.
I am safe, warm, and protected.

This path has been prepared
For me by Your very own Hand
From before the beginning of time.

Every difficult cautious step I take
Results in a little more healing,
A little more strengthening.

I move in intimate communion
Ever closer to Your Heart
A little deeper into all You are.

Empower my weak and feeble knees.
Grant me all I need to keep moving
Ever forward toward You.

~ Laurie Pontious-Andrews

Hebrews 12:12-13 – Prayer

So then, brace up and reinvigorate and set right your slackened and weakened and drooping hands and strengthen your feeble and palsied and tottering knees, And cut through and make firm and plain and smooth, straight paths for your feet [yes, make them safe and upright and happy paths that go in the right direction], so that the lame and halting [limbs] may not be put out of joint, but rather may be cured.



Forgive me. I’m going to stand on a little soapbox for a moment, if it’s okay. I don’t understand. Maybe you can help me out.

There’s a cry for help for girls who have been abducted and taken to only God knows where. So posts go up all over social media asking, no, begging, for intervention. And I am right there in the mix – praying, interceding, posting, sharing, forwarding… This is a good thing, right? A heartfelt, compassionate desire for any and all kinds of help. But reading through some of the posts within the posts there is an outright attack against those who say they are praying for the daughters and their families. God – is attacked for being impotent, unfeeling, absent and, therefore, non-existent. Individuals – are attacked for believing and crying out to Him on behalf of the victims and chided as idiots for calling out to a non-existent God.

HGTV has caved under pressure and fired the Benham brothers (Flip It Forward). They were let go because “off-screen” they are active in their personal beliefs. Yes, they are Christians who publicly oppose abortion and same-sex marriage. But – wait a second – aren’t they allowed their personal private “off-screen off- air-HGTV” beliefs?

Aren’t we all?

Why is it that tolerance and acceptance is only extended to those whom the mainstream declares to be in the right and, therefore, of worth and value?

Doesn’t tolerance cease to be tolerance if ANY group is mocked and cajoled for their personal beliefs?

Forgive me, but I must ask – is bullying acceptable if it’s aimed towards a mother who says she is earnestly praying for another mother whose daughter has been abducted by a radical extremist group – no matter what religion they declare to be under?

Is wrong not wrong anymore?

Is black, white? And white, black?

Have we lost our common sense and reason?

Are we really just some great big herd of sheep bleating at whatever screams and shouts the loudest and flashes the brightest colors?

Here it is – like it or not.

I am a Born Again Spirit-Filled Christian. I genuinely love The Lord. Yes, The Lord. His name, is Jesus. My Savior. His Father, is God. The God. Capital G. I pray. And ya know what? I believe He not only hears my pleas but He answers. In fact, I have seen Him answer.

I honestly grieve for those who are hurting. I grieve for those who are abused – no matter what their creed, color, or, God help me, religion. Yeah, that’s right, religion. I grieve for those who declare that there is no God as earnestly as I do for those who claim their god is about the destruction of those whose God is Jehovah. I believe that Christ died for ALL and that it is His will that ALL be saved.

If that makes me an idiot. So be it.

If that makes me a right wing radical. So be it.

The truth is, I accept you. I love you. I pray for you. And I have compassion for you.

If you believe that makes me intolerant well I must not understand what intolerance really is.

If you feel you need to unfriend me – I understand. But this is my personal belief statement and I believe I have the freedom, just as equally as you, to believe as I personally choose to.





Who are you, really?
Why do I choose to give you my power?
Why do I allow you to disquiet my soul?
Why do I allow myself to be hurt?

You waltz about with an air of superiority.
Others bow and cater to you.
I feel confused, unsure.
Am I the one who’s wrong?

Why do I seek you out
Knowing you judge so harshly?
I feel your scrutiny burning into my being.
And, yet, I stay?

Your subtle confrontational remarks
Cut to the quick.
They are intentional and inflict pain.
Why are you so ridged
As if your’s is the only way?

You assume an awful power
And an awesome responsibility
When you appoint yourself
Judge over another,
Especially when you have never
Attempted to try on their shoes.

The truth is I don’t need you.
I don’t need what you have to offer.
I don’t need to be judged.
I need relationship that is
Loving, accepting, and nurturing.

I choose not to give away my power.
I choose not to allow myself to be disquieted.
I choose not to allow myself to be hurt.
I choose to forgive, but walk away.
This time, not to return.

~ Laurie Pontious-Andrews

Don’t Push Away the Experience


“It’s not the problem, the people, or the situation. It is your resistance to the problem, the people, or the situations which causes anger, fear, or frustration. Whatever comes at you is coming to teach you or heal you. Whatever you do, don’t push the experience away. If you do, it will show up later with more force and urgency.” Iyanla Vanzant