In the Valley of Decision
Belief in You.
Not things seen.
Not things touched.
Not things handled.
Crying out from the past.
Arising from a place of confusion
Encouragement as You gently prod.
Sweet fellowship with One Who loves,
And is Love.
Razing fear, doubt, and confusion.
~ Laurie Pontious-Andrews
Trading Ashes post
Beautiful Christian Sister
‘A woman’s heart should be so hidden in Christ That a man should have to seek Him first to find her.’
When I say… ‘I am a Christian’ I’m not shouting ‘I’m clean living,’ I’m whispering ‘I was lost, Now I’m found and forgiven.’
When I say… ‘I am a Christian’ I don’t speak of this with pride. I’m confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.
When I say… ‘I am a Christian’ I’m not trying to be strong. I’m professing that I’m weak and need His strength to carry on.
When I say.. ‘I am a Christian’ I’m not bragging of success. I’m admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.
When I say… ‘I am a Christian’ I’m not claiming to be perfect, My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.
When I say… ‘I am a Christian’ I still feel the sting of pain… I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.
When I say… ‘I am a Christian’ I’m not holier than thou, I’m just a simple sinner Who received God’s good grace, somehow!
~ Maya Angelou
I this article!!!! It’s a lesson that’s taken me 46 years to embrace. Learning how to “be” instead of “do”. God has so many wonderful little hidden secret “blessings” to reveal Himself in our ordinary day in and day out living but we are “[overly occupied and too busy] and distracted with much serving” and miss His sweet whisper. May each of us learn how to discover what is truly “essential and necessary” so that we can truly live and “be”. Luke 10:40-42
The Day I Stopped Saying ‘Hurry Up’
When I had a full agenda that started at 6:00 a.m., she asked to crack the eggs and stir them ever so gently.
Notes and Quotes
June 20th, 2013
My upbringing was drenched in Scripture. I read and memorized the Bible on my own, daily, sometimes two or even three times a day—in addition to family Bible time. I printed pages and pages of verses and taped them to the wall by my bed so I could read and memorize while waking or drifting off to sleep. I am grateful for this, for the words are written deeply on my soul which benefits me greatly even now.
However, as an adult I began to question and wrestle with my upbringing. I experienced loads of shame and guilt in the process, down to hearing my father‘s voice while I read the Bible, hearing it when others prayed, seeing my mother‘s disapproving or disappointed face in my mind and hearing my own conscience speak to me in her voice—I became desperate.
I stopped everything. I withdrew from society, from everyone really except for my husband and one or two trusted friends and mentors. I stopped reading my Bible. The truth is, I didn‘t want to view the Bible or God as hurtful; I still loved God with all my heart and knew that beneath it all, the god I thought I knew was not the true God. But when something inherently good—like the Bible—has been used as a tool for abusive control, it is necessary to distance from this and heal. In a sense, I went under a spiritual de-tox. It‘s not unlike a de-programming regime for those who exit cultic groups.
During this time, which lasted nearly a year for me, I determined to decide what to believe for myself, and not because I was told that it was true. I became willing to let go of everything I‘d ever been taught. I still clung to Jesus and His work on the cross, for I knew deep within that He is the Way, Truth, and Life—but anything besides Him I shed off me like a fur coat on a summer day.
My Personal Thoughts ~
As I read Halley’s words it was like a bomb exploded deep within my heart. It was the answer to the questions I have been struggling with before God.
This is why I’ve found myself with little or no desire to read the Bible or other spiritual books, Christian Novels, study, write, and yes, even, attend church. I know that I’m not backslidden. That is clearly NOT what this is. I talk with God all the time. I acknowledge Him and His presence throughout my day and into the night. I love Him and praise Hiim. I haven’t fallen away from Him.
I have been detoxing… Learning how to rest. Learning how to be.
Gone is that old way of life – searching, striving, clawing, doing, doing, doing, working, working, working… attaining all sorts of “knowledge” and yet never learning.
2 Timothy 3:7b – “they are forever inquiring and getting information, but are never able to arrive at a recognition and knowledge of the Truth.”
Another way to phrase this might be, are unable (or unwilling) to internalize and experience the Truth. Allowing the Truth to enter and pierce their heart to the point where they are changed from within through a work of the Spirit NOT the flesh.
Recognition = the act of recognizing; appreciation; acknowledgement, permission, acceptance,
Knowledge = specific information, learning thought EXPERIENCE and study, transmission of information, acquaintance
We should not fear those times when we’re pulled into a quiet place. We should be brave enough to follow our hearts and the Holy Spirit’s gentle nudging to be quiet and still with Him. Allowing Him to do the work ONLY He can do.
Cease striving. Enter His rest. Don’t fear the “not doing” and just be.
Oh, Daddy, grant us the Grace to allow ourselves to experience You and to experience what Your Truth longs to do in us.
Four Weddings and a Funeral
Stop All the Clocks
June 2nd, 2013
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message ‘He is Dead’.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
My Personal Thoughts ~
This truly touched my heart at the end of a rather long and boring movie.
It sums up the feeling of utter loss perfectly. It is how I have felt during this season of healing, recovery, and, yes, Spiritual Detoxing.
I cannot say if I am finished with this phase of my journey or not. But I am truly feeling every part of it and will continue to do so until ALL is felt and ALL is experienced.
It is not a joyous place. But it is a quiet place. A place of silence and peace. A place of solitude and stillness.
So that makes it a good place. A good place.
I’m not afraid. I am not fearful.
I feel safe. I feel protected. I feel sheltered. I feel watched over and cared for.
So that makes this a good place. A good place.
I don’t understand. I can’t see very far ahead. But I don’t need or want to.
Grace shines its light with each step I take.
There is hope. My mind is still and quiet. My heart is at rest.
So that makes this a good place. A good place.
I love You, Daddy. Oh how I love You!
Always and forever – Daddy’s girl! My heart belongs to You!
“Jesus‘ love for us is the cause, and our love for Him is the effect. If you want to love Jesus more, don‘t waste your time trying to strive or to do good things or to work up your passion and emotions. Just think about Jesus‘ love for you, and how much He had to do with it, and how little (nothing) you had to do with it.” – How Does Jesus Love You? By Eric M. Pazdziora