Category Archives: Season of Pain

“We need to face rock bottom alone.”


“We need to face rock bottom alone. ”

I have been there. Three years ago I realized I flat out couldn’t do it anymore. I wanted to disappear. I stopped absolutely everything I was doing as a workaholic, people pleasing, codependent, enabling, unable to say “no”, perfectionist… I could go on, but you get the idea. I started seeing a therapist weekly (still am). I have come a very long way, and it has been incredibly difficult and painful. I have decluttered relationships, my life, my home, and countless other things. It’s been quite a journey and I am still in process. It’s so awesome knowing even when you’re alone that you’re not really alone. Maybe no one you know understands what you’re going through but there are others out there who do. Maybe that’s a very small thing but it offers great comfort to a heart that is doing the brave, hard work of healing.

“When we stop fighting with ourselves, beating ourselves up because we can no longer function as we are used to doing, it clears the way for the next stage of our lives. Deep despair signals that deep inner work needs to be done, work which has the potential to raise us to a new level in our lives. It’s a lonely road, but we can make it less lonely by walking it deliberately and embracing the small supports that can help us through.”

For more, click the link.


Notes and Quotes – The Shack

Notes and Quotes

The Shack
Page 243 – 266 (end of book)
December 7th, 2011

Faith never knows where [or why] it’s being led. But it knows and loves the One Who is leading. – Oswald Chambers

“…It had been a horribly painful season. In fact, if you stepped back and isolated my life, apart from my family and friends, you would have seen that my history was a series of train wrecks… An adult burdened with lies, compulsive perfectionism, and pervasive shame and throughout a fine line between suicide and flight, all under a mask of adequacy, spirituality and health… The train came totally off the tracks with devastating results… Through all of that God had to dismantle and rebuild my entire life from scratch.”

My Breakthrough by Way of a Meltdown – 01/11/11 [JE 110101]