Monthly Archives: August 2014

Feeling My Way Through


Feeling My Way Through

There was a time,
Not so very long ago,
That I could not feel
Any emotion, save anger.

Tears, rarely, if ever, came.
Anger felt safer,
And made me bigger,
Louder – powerful.

Then came the moment
You asked me to cry
But to my astonishment
The tears would not come.

Try, though I may,
They refused to flow.
I was frozen and numb.
My heart was solid stone.

I would have given up
But for Your Promise,
“I will give her
A heart of flesh.”

Thus began the breaking
Open of the prison doors
Deep within my being
One lock at a time.

Oceans of uncried tears
Threatened to overwhelm,
But You were there
As Comforter and Helper.

So many stops and starts,
So many wars fought,
While breaking through.
So much confusion and fear.

Holding tightly to the keys
Behind countless bolted doors.
Too timid and scared
To respond to Your gentle knock.

So much anger toward You.
Holding fast to all my weaponry.
Yet desperately desiring
Your tender embrace.

Will I let go?
Will I surrender?
Can I trust the One
Who claims to love me?

I bravely whisper a yielded, yes.
Weaponry lays scattered at my feet,
As You rush to my side,
Engulfing me in all that You are.

No longer isolated,
Imprisoned, abandoned.
Walking through every doorway
Feeling every hurt and abuse.

Choosing to forgive.
Choosing to release.
Receiving mercy,
Healing and freedom.

Feeling my way through
The sorrow and grief
One small step at a time
With Your hand holding mine.

~ Laurie Pontious-Andrews

Notes & Quotes
The Gate of the Year
The Mortal Storm

I said to a man who stood at a gate “give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown”, and he replied, “go out into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God. That shall be to you better than a light and safer than a known way.”


“Till our grief is fled and gone He doth sit by us and moan.”


“Till our grief is fled and gone He doth sit by us and moan.”

Ecclesiastes 3:1-4 – Prayer/Promise

​To everything there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven: A time to be born and a time to die… A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance…

Matthew 5:4 – Prayer/Promise

Blessed and enviably happy [with happiness produced by the experience of God’s favor and especially conditioned by the revelation of His matchless grace] are those who are willing to do the hard work of grieving and mourning, for they shall be comforted!

2 Corinthians 1:3-4a – Prayer/Promise

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of sympathy (pity and mercy) and the God [Who is the Source] of every comfort (consolation and encouragement), Who comforts (consoles and encourages) us in every trouble (calamity and affliction)…


NACR Online Daily Meditation

Jesus pronounced a blessing on people who are courageous enough to grieve. Nothing could be more surprising than this. When we grieve, we often feel like spiritual failures. But God sees things differently. From God’s perspective, mourning is valued. It is an occasion for blessing. It comes with the opportunity for comfort.

To be comforted is to be held in the safety of arms you trust. To be comforted is to weep and rage in the company of someone who loves us. The hard edges of the pain are soothed. Strength and hope return in some measure. Healing begins.

Grieving is a commitment to the hard work of facing reality and allowing ourselves to feel the full range of emotions God has given us. It is painful work. But it is work that is blessed by God.


The Topography of Tears
Rose-Lynn Fisher

The Topography of Tears is a study of 100 tears photographed through a standard light microscope. The project began in a period of personal change, loss, and copious tears. One day I wondered if my tears of grief would look any different from my tears of happiness – and I set out to explore them up close, using tools of science to make art and to ponder personal and aesthetic questions.

Years later, this series comprises a wide range of my own and others’ tears, from elation to onions, as well as sorrow, frustration, rejection, resolution, laughing, yawning, birth and rebirth, and many more, each a tiny history.

The random compositions I find in magnified tears often evoke a sense of place, like aerial views of emotional terrain. Although the empirical nature of tears is a chemistry of water, proteins, minerals, hormones, antibodies and enzymes, the topography of tears is a momentary landscape, transient as the fingerprint of someone in a dream. This series is like an ephemeral atlas.

Roaming microscopic vistas, I marvel at the visual similarities between micro and macro realms, how the patterning of nature seems so consistent, regardless of scale. Patterns of erosion etched into earth over millions of years may look quite similar to the branched crystalline patterns of an evaporated tear that took less than a minute to occur.

Tears are the medium of our most primal language in moments as unrelenting as death, as basic as hunger, and as complex as a rite of passage. They are the evidence of our inner life overflowing its boundaries, spilling over into consciousness. Wordless and spontaneous, they release us to the possibility of realignment, reunion, catharsis: shedding tears, shedding old skin. It’s as though each one of our tears carries a microcosm of the collective human experience, like one drop of an ocean.


On Another’s Sorrow
William Blake

Can I see another’s woe,
And not be in sorrow too?
Can I see another’s grief,
And not seek for kind relief?

Can I see a falling tear,
And not feel my sorrow’s share?
Can a father see his child
Weep, nor be with sorrow fill’d?

Can a mother sit and hear
An infant groan, an infant fear?
No, no! never can it be!
Never, never can it be!

And can He who smiles on all
Hear the wren with sorrows small,
Hear the small bird’s grief and care,
Hear the woes that infants bear,

And not sit beside the nest,
Pouring pity in their breast;
And not sit the cradle near,
Weeping tear on infant’s tear;

And not sit both night and day,
Wiping all our tears away?
O, no! never can it be!
Never, never can it be!

He doth give His joy to all;
He becomes an infant small;
He becomes a man of woe;
He doth feel the sorrow too.

Think not thou canst sigh a sigh,
And thy Maker is not by;
Think not thou canst weep a tear,
And thy Maker is not near.

O! He gives to us His joy
That our grief He may destroy;
Till our grief is fled and gone
He doth sit by us and moan.


These Things I Know and Hold Dear


These Things I Know and Hold Dear

These things I know,
And hold dear.

You are Good,
And You do good.

Your Love is Steadfast,
And willing to suffer long.

You remain the same,
No matter my present state.

You are Faithful,
And keep Your promises.

You are Protective,
And my heart is safe.

You are Constant,
And I need not fear.

You are my Provision,
And there is no lack.

You are Compassionate,
And care deeply for me.

You are Understanding,
And bring Peace to my weary mind.

You are Present,
And I am never alone.

These things I know,
And You are Everything to me.

– Laurie Pontious-Andrews

2 Timothy 3:14-15 – Prayer

But as for me, I choose to continue to hold to the things that I have learned and of which I am convinced, knowing from whom I learned [them], And how from my childhood I have had a knowledge of and been acquainted with the sacred Writings, which are able to instruct me and give me the understanding for salvation which comes through faith in Christ Jesus [through the leaning of the entire human personality on God in Christ Jesus in absolute trust and confidence in His power, wisdom, and goodness].

2 Timothy 3:14-15 – Prayer

But I will choose to keep on believing the things I have been taught. I know they are true, for I know that I can trust those, who were faithful, and who have taught me. I know how, when I was a small child, I was taught the holy Scriptures; and it is these that make me wise to accept Your salvation by trusting in Christ Jesus.

Notes & Quotes
Beth Moore
90 Days With A Heart Like His

Why has God chosen me?
Why did Saul turn on me?
Why did Jonathan have to die?

You may be going through a confusing time. You may not know how God is going to use a situation in your life or why certain things have happened to you. But you can be encouraged and strengthened by recalling what you know about God in the midst of uncertainties. In confusing times, recounting what we know refreshes us.

David still had many unanswered questions. He would never know for sure why God allowed certain things to happen, but he knew God had done exactly what He promised. You may never know why or how, but you can always know Who is faithful.

Sometimes we stand to learn the most about God from the situations we understand the least.