Monthly Archives: June 2014

A Beautiful Testimony

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This is my favorite tree on the Intracoastal Waterway. I take photos of it every year. It speaks to me. I feel like it reminds me of my Nana. This tree had to have been stunning in its prime. It’s perfectly formed. Perfectly even. The fact that it is still rooted in the soil deep enough to carry its weight all these years past its death speaks volumes to its rich and full life. It is still a breathtaking beauty to me. A testament to the truth – that those things we have done to the glory and honor of God will stand long after we have ceased producing – whether that be a short season or the end of one thing and beginning of the next. Yes, we are still standing, and what a beautiful testimony it is.

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Happy Father’s Day to My Dad

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Happy Father’s Day to my Dad. I grieve that the last time I hugged you was eleven years ago today. I couldn’t have known then that you would write us out of your life just a few short weeks later. You can’t fathom just how much I love you and how deeply you are missed. Thank you for how hard you worked for us. Thank you for serving our country with honor, dignity, and integrity. Through my eyes, you are a very great man. I long for the day when I am able to embrace you again. Praying for you… Always.

What Do You Do When Father’s Day Sucks?

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What do you do when Father’s Day sucks?!

I’m just throwing this out there – into the great big nothingness we call the internet…

I love my Dad. He doesn’t know or believe that I do.

He was the Co-Dependent Enabling Peacekeeper to my Mom.

Yes, I love her too.

That’s the problem.

God created us to love our parents, even if they are monsters or the care-takers to monsters.

It’s been a difficult day for me.

You see, eleven years ago, I hugged my Dad for the last time. I didn’t know it then. I didn’t. But just a few weeks later he wrote us off and walked out of our lives.

My Dad is amazing. He was a Marine – almost 30 years. He survived two tours of duty in Vietnam, as well as countless other skirmishes…

I could list all of his military accomplishments but, heck, you know our world…

My Dad could do anything.

He was a master craftsman. He could build anything. One of my favorite fragrances is pine. I grew up with the sound of woodworking tools. They are as soothing to me as the soulful sounds of the Jazz Greats. I can close my eyes and feel the silky sawdust between my fingertips.

He could repair anything. I grew up watching him make repairs to not only our house but other people’s houses. I remember being a very young girl and watching him repair a heater in the neighbor’s house in the middle of winter. This made me feel so proud and honored to be his daughter.

My Dad could make me laugh until I cried. I would beg him to stop while secretly hoping he never, ever would.

My Dad taught me about the big things: honesty, integrity, character – in short, how to be a Christian – for real.

He taught me, by example, how to give your all to any job you were given. To do your very best, no matter how small or insignificant.

My Dad taught me other things too. Things that aren’t so great or wonderful.

He taught me to be a peacekeeper. To give and give, even when you are being treated as nothing more than a doormat.

He taught me to overlook another person’s abuse in order to maintain the status quo.

He taught me to ignore my own pain in order to perpetuate the lie of perfection.

He taught me to be afraid – very afraid – of rejection. And to be willing to do anything and everything to prevent it from ever happening. Even if it means betraying the very ones you are sworn to protect and defend.

I love my Dad. He doesn’t know or believe that I do.

And this is why Father’s Day sucks – at least for me…

Bound to the Struggle

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Bound to the Struggle

Why does it seem we are
Bound to the struggle?

Each person has things that
Pulls on the heart and soul.

They are as unique and
Different as each of us.

Some are more visible.
Some more destructive.

Yet all have one thing
In common – sin.

A falling below what would be
Your perfect will for us.

Yet, we struggle and we yield.
Feeling hopelessly bound.

Why?

To come to the end of ourselves.
To realize our great need for You.

To experience Divine Forgiveness
And the beauty of Your Grace.

Yes.

You are sufficient for me.
You are all I need.

So I stand in the struggle
With my eyes focused on You.

~ Laurie Pontious-Andrews

2 Corinthians 12:9

Each time He said, “No. But I am with you; that is all you need. My power shows up best in weak people.” Now I am glad to boast about how weak I am; I am glad to be a living demonstration of Christ’s power, instead of showing off my own power and abilities.