Monthly Archives: May 2014

An End to the Study of War


An End to the Study of War

A captive to the study of war.
Days of deep darkness
An unbearable burden.

Replaying every frame
Of every assault, every battle
Over and over again.

Trying to make sense
Of the inexplicable.
Unable to stop the insanity.

Dredging unhealed wounds
Clawing at the brokenness
Seated in the ashes.

Bravely suffering through the grief.
Doing the difficult work of mourning.
Feeling deeply – pain, anger, injustice.

Learning the art of letting go.
Releasing all to the One
Who listens, comforts and heals.

No longer given to the study of war.
Laying down the weaponry
For the study of peace.

Unshackled from the clutches
Of exploitation and oppression
Of past assailants and abusers.

No longer imprisoned under tyranny,
Discovering the beautiful gift of
Thinking on things worthy and pure.

Things that fill the heart with hope,
Flood the soul with inspiration,
And give birth to creativity and artistry.

~ Laurie Pontious-Andrews

Job 2:8 – And he took a piece of broken pottery with which to scrape himself, and he sat [down] among the ashes.

Philippians 4:8 – For the rest, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them].

Philippians 4:8 – Fix your thoughts on what is true and good and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely, and dwell on the fine, good things in others. Think about all you can praise God for and be glad.

Down by the Riverside
Old Time Gospel Song 1918

Well, I’m gonna lay down my sword and shield, (Where?) down by the riverside
Down by the riverside, down by the riverside
I’m gonna lay down my sword and shield, (A-ha) down by the riverside
I’m gonna study war no more

I ain’t a gonna study war no more, I ain’t a gonna study war no more
I ain’t a gonna study war no more, I ain’t a gonna study war no more
I ain’t a gonna study war no more, I ain’t a gonna study war no more

“I ain’t a gonna study war no more.”


A Sealed-off Place – The Cave of Adullam


A Sealed-off Place
The Cave of Adullam

A covered place.
A refuge.
A place of humility.
A place of safety.

It’s not a pretty place.
It’s not a place of comfort.
It’s not a place of abundance.

It’s a place of concealment.
A place of privacy, intimacy and prayer.
It’s a place of unburdening the heart,
Before the only One Who can and will help.

It’s a place of proving.
A place of separation,
From what is believed to be true
And what actually is true.

It’s not a permanent dwelling.
It’s not a place of failure.
It’s not a place of defeat.

It’s a place of renewal.
A place of restoration.
It is the birthing place
Of a brand new beginning.

~ Laurie Pontious-Andrews

1 Samuel 22:1a

David departed and escaped to the cave of Adullam…

Thoughts on Genuine from the Heart Forgiveness…


Thoughts on Genuine from the Heart Forgiveness…

For me, forgiveness has been a natural by-product of my continued healing and recovery. It wasn’t something I set out to do – like an objective or goal. In fact I didn’t believe it possible.

Rather than focusing on forgiving as a rule or law (I am a Christian btw) I chose to just walk out the process of healing one step at a time – focusing on what was in front of me and only that.

I believe people can get stuck by trying to follow religious law and never get to really experience freedom and peace way down deep within.

We can say we forgive – yet continue to feel the rage and pain. That is torment not freedom. We can’t live in that painful conflicted state.

For me, as I have continued to work through painful memories and events I discovered something I was never aiming for – compassion.

It took me aback me at first. It made absolutely no sense to my reasoning brain. I remember asking my therapist if she believed I was being honest about my feelings about the event. She smiled and said yes.

Compassion has led to mercy which by definition means forgiveness.

This has led to a place of freedom and unity within me. I am slowly being freed from conflicted feelings, emotions, and beliefs.

I can’t truly explain how that has taken place but I can say that I have been steadily working through my pain for over 22 years. It has been ugly. And it has hurt. There is no other way I can describe it.

So – should we forgive? Do they deserve forgiveness? Why should we forgive them?

I don’t have the answers for these questions but I will say based on my own personal experience don’t let a rule be your focus. It’s not about the abuser. It’s about you and your healing. Let your focus be on whatever you are experiencing today – in this moment. Continue to walk out your healing/recovery. There are no hard and fast rules because each of us are unique and the abuse has impacted us differently.

I hope this helps. As a Christian I don’t ever want to appear “religious” because that is not who I am. I believe it is through Relationship – not rules – that I am being made well. But it is a process and I don’t believe it can be rushed or dictated how and when certain things will be felt.

Trust your heart. 😊

Dear Mom… For those who are estranged from their Mom


On behalf of those who are estranged from their Moms – because we have a heart for our Moms too. ❤️

Dear Mom,

I know you won’t see this because we are no longer a part of your life. Although this hurts and saddens me, I trust that God is carefully watching over you and taking care of you.

I think about you, especially on days like today. A day set aside to honor mothers of every race and creed.

I wish I could tell you how much I appreciate the sacrifices you made as a young mother while your husband was fighting in a war that, to this day, makes little sense.

Living the life of a military wife and mother is hard. Dad was gone anywhere from six months to a year at any given time. It must have been very difficult raising two daughters on your own not knowing if your husband would even make it safely back home.

I wish I could thank you, for making sure that we grew up in church. From a very young tender age, I began to have a heart for the Lord. This was because you made sure we we attended regular services.

I wish I could thank you for putting me in the church’s preschool. By attending a Christian school, I was taught daily about God by others who also loved Him.

I wish I could thank you for the Biblical foundation you laid in the my early years, which allowed me to know God and place Him at the center of my life. This has been imperative for me to be a good Mama to our daughters.

And they are beautiful, Mom. I wish you could know them. They are both so different, possessing different gifts, talents and abilities. I believe you would be honored by the young women they are both becoming.

I wish you could know just how wonderful a husband Bo is. He has taken good care of me, Mom. He is a good father to our daughters. They have never doubted his love for them. He is a good man. Caring. Faithful. Godly.

I wish you could see the woman I have become – as a wife and a mother. But more than that – as a person.

I wish I could share all of this and more with you – my Mom…

I love you and pray that in some way, God will bless you with a happy Mother’s Day. I pray He would show you that you are loved and that you are missed…

Forever your daughter,



Forgive me. I’m going to stand on a little soapbox for a moment, if it’s okay. I don’t understand. Maybe you can help me out.

There’s a cry for help for girls who have been abducted and taken to only God knows where. So posts go up all over social media asking, no, begging, for intervention. And I am right there in the mix – praying, interceding, posting, sharing, forwarding… This is a good thing, right? A heartfelt, compassionate desire for any and all kinds of help. But reading through some of the posts within the posts there is an outright attack against those who say they are praying for the daughters and their families. God – is attacked for being impotent, unfeeling, absent and, therefore, non-existent. Individuals – are attacked for believing and crying out to Him on behalf of the victims and chided as idiots for calling out to a non-existent God.

HGTV has caved under pressure and fired the Benham brothers (Flip It Forward). They were let go because “off-screen” they are active in their personal beliefs. Yes, they are Christians who publicly oppose abortion and same-sex marriage. But – wait a second – aren’t they allowed their personal private “off-screen off- air-HGTV” beliefs?

Aren’t we all?

Why is it that tolerance and acceptance is only extended to those whom the mainstream declares to be in the right and, therefore, of worth and value?

Doesn’t tolerance cease to be tolerance if ANY group is mocked and cajoled for their personal beliefs?

Forgive me, but I must ask – is bullying acceptable if it’s aimed towards a mother who says she is earnestly praying for another mother whose daughter has been abducted by a radical extremist group – no matter what religion they declare to be under?

Is wrong not wrong anymore?

Is black, white? And white, black?

Have we lost our common sense and reason?

Are we really just some great big herd of sheep bleating at whatever screams and shouts the loudest and flashes the brightest colors?

Here it is – like it or not.

I am a Born Again Spirit-Filled Christian. I genuinely love The Lord. Yes, The Lord. His name, is Jesus. My Savior. His Father, is God. The God. Capital G. I pray. And ya know what? I believe He not only hears my pleas but He answers. In fact, I have seen Him answer.

I honestly grieve for those who are hurting. I grieve for those who are abused – no matter what their creed, color, or, God help me, religion. Yeah, that’s right, religion. I grieve for those who declare that there is no God as earnestly as I do for those who claim their god is about the destruction of those whose God is Jehovah. I believe that Christ died for ALL and that it is His will that ALL be saved.

If that makes me an idiot. So be it.

If that makes me a right wing radical. So be it.

The truth is, I accept you. I love you. I pray for you. And I have compassion for you.

If you believe that makes me intolerant well I must not understand what intolerance really is.

If you feel you need to unfriend me – I understand. But this is my personal belief statement and I believe I have the freedom, just as equally as you, to believe as I personally choose to.


The Cry to Be Free


The Cry to Be Free

Real help.
Genuine help.
In dire need.

Lacking guidance.
Knowledge without wisdom.
Feeling so uncertain,
Confused and unsteady.

Crying out for motivation –
The awakening of desires,
Granting divine purpose
And personal significance.

Desperate to thrust out the evil
That propels compulsions,
Dependencies and extremes,
Ending only in destruction.

Is the cry to be free.
Is the cry that You hear
As You hasten to my side.

~ Laurie Pontious-Andrews

Psalms 22:24

For You have not despised my cries of deep despair; You have not turned and walked away. When I cried to You, You heard and came.

I have never let you down, never looked the other way when you were being kicked around. I have never wandered off to do My own thing; I have been right there, listening.